I know this post is a departure from the normal stuff on Ecuador but…It’s my website so….
Diane and I have recently celebrated our tenth year of marriage and while our original plans didn’t work out for the celebration we had planned (we’re gonna’ do it later), I did want to share my re-commitment to her.
My Darling, Diane:
You have always been the one. From the moment I met you and long before we met, you have been the one presence I always envisioned; the one mythical woman who would know me inside out and yet…would somehow come to accept and love me in spite of my long list of frailties. You were not always a conscious thought but you were always in my head and in my heart. I could see you in my mind. My soul ached for you; a smallish Pocket Babe of a woman, a reddish tint to her hair; intelligent and witty and someone who would challenge me. A woman who loved children and was kind to all with a broad and accepting view of the world and an outspoken advocate for those struggling to make their way on this planet; A woman who would be spontaneous and adventurous and who preferred the bedroom to the kitchen.
And at my lowest point, when I had been dropped to my knees and was struggling to stand again, in no way ready to impress anyone… there you were with a backless dress, skin like liquid silk, and an intelligent and sharp wit that kept me on my toes. I took your tiny hand in mine, walked you to the dance floor on that first night, trying desperately to hide my damaged self from your view. But you saw me. It was as if you had been specially ordered just for me…an intricate puzzle piece whose soft curves and complex angles meshed perfectly with my soul. I have never, not once ever, wanted to let you go. I knew you before I knew you. I had, after all, been holding you in my heart for many years before we met. You have been and remain my very best love.
In the early days, I once tried to release you, believing that I was too wounded and even too old and with too much healing to do to drag you into my world and you gently extended your hand assuring me that you believed in us. I trusted you then as I trust you now to care for us and you have!
It has been ten years since we both made promises to each other, promises to love and care for each other… promises that have been easy for me to keep. See, the one promise that we made to each other that means more to me than any other was the promise to choose each other every day. I do not want you to be with me because of some sense of obligation or some commitment you regret after a decade. I want you to be with me each and every day because you know you have a choice and you choose me and the life we have created every day when you awaken and every night when you lie next to me in our bed. I am grateful each day when you have chosen our life together over every other choice you could make.
The thing that we call “us” allows those choices and believes that our strength and our bond is not born from some sense of duty and obligation but rather comes from a sense of freedom and joy, as we choose each other every moment of every day, intentionally.
Today, as we celebrate a decade of us with some old and new friends and family, I choose you again, for this day….and I will choose you again tomorrow…and the next day….and the next…and the next into forever. You are my wife, my girlfriend and my best friend. You are the one who knows me the best and somehow, amazingly, still chooses to hang out with me.
Thank you, Diane Murray, for reaching inside of me and gently switching on all the lights in all my dark places that had long ago been extinguished. Thank you for being a spirit that is kind to all without judgment or cruelty. Thank you for seeing whole persons and not just the flawed, outer packaging. Thank you for being an amazing, creative and engaging teacher to young children. Watching you in your classroom was an astonishing experience! You will be that one teacher that your students will never forget!
Thank you for being open to new adventures and meeting new people wherever we go. Thank you for dancing with me the night we met and for flirting with me just enough…but not too much. Thanks for looking so fucking gorgeous in that backless dress and thanks for riding in a convertible and not being worried about your hair. Oh… and thanks for correcting me when I once compared sex to the hokey-pokey. Boy was I wrong!
It has been ten years and what an adventure we have had! But now look where we are…LOOK…and look at what we did together. I cannot imagine my life without you, babe! I adore you and I cherish you and I happily recommit to the vows and promises I first made to love and care for you to the very best of my ability each and every day. You are the very best gift I have ever received.
Happy Anniversary, Baby!